“Miss, can you please f*ck off? I’m trying to learn.”In the last year or so I have been sharing some of the more comical insults I receive on twitter. They’re always my most popular tweets.
Student: Miss, ur a MILF*
Me: That’s not appropriate to say to me
Student: (with genuine look of concern) Oh miss I’m sorry, don’t u have children?
Student: Oh I’m sorry. Ur an ILF then.
Me: Nope, still not appropriate.
(* MILF = Mum I’d like to f*ck).
During a school trip I had organised everything for, with a student I have taught many times:
Mayor: And who is this teacher? (points to me)
Student: Dunno, guess she helps out a bit sometimes.
Pupil: What does catastrophe mean?
Me: It’s similar to a disaster.
Pupil: Oh, like this lesson then (he went on to do the most work he’s done for me – ever).
Pupil coming out of science lesson on sex organs:
Me: Did you learn anything new?
Pupil: Yes, you’re the same as a chicken. You’ve got eggs too.
“Miss, can you please stop breathing? It’s putting me off my work.”
Collecting a student from their taxi:
Student: Miss, why are you collecting me today?
Me: Because it’s my turn, anything wrong with me collecting you?
Student: Your face.
Pupil: Miss, I used to really like our sessions, but now you have ruined my life.
Me: Oh gosh, I’m sorry to hear that, what makes you think that?
Pupil: You’ve introduced homework.
Pupil: Miss, you’re unique
Me: Oh thanks
Pupil: No Miss, that is not a compliment.
Pupil-Whilst defiantly stropping off into the corner of the room:
“Miss,I don’t need YOU anymore, I have a DICTIONARY now!”
(Pupil proceeded to do their first completely independent extended writing piece.)
Now enjoy finding your own! Another game to help us not take it all quite so personally….and do share 😊